If I Were With You
by Paper Sentiments
Summary: This is what I think would happen if Four was an initiate with Tris. :) It is all in Four's point of view! Very, very, VERY loosely follows the plot of Divergent. Rated T for possible profanity and...scenes. ;) Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**Sorry just A/N: Just to clear up some misunderstandings, I like to bold my dialogue! Sorry if you thought Marcus was yelling in a really dramatic voice or something. I always bold all of my dialogue, I don't really know why.**

* * *

_One choice can transform you._

_One choice can define your beliefs, decide your friends, confirm your loyalties._

_One choice can destroy you._

After filing out of the bus, Abnegation members walk in a huddled mass to the Choosing Ceremony. Tension squeezes in my chest. I can feel my father's stare burning holes in my back, warning me, threatening me, silencing me. I am not ready to spend the rest of my life under his abuse. I have aptitude for Dauntless. I will choose it today.

My eyes drift to my father's shadow on the ground, to the noisy group of Dauntless in front of us, then to the girl shuffling beside me, the daughter of one of my father's coworkers—Beatrice Prior. Her breath is as heavy and nervous as mine.

Abnegation is last to arrive; we are the only ones who took the stairs. There are rows of families already seated on one half of the room, and on the other half there is a podium where my father will deliver his speech. In front of the podium, there are five colossal bowls, each representing one of the five factions. In front of the bowls, there is a line of sixteen year olds, all who will have decided their life by the next hour.

The Abnegation members disperse into their own individual families. Parents hug their children and whisper things to them. I have never known that support or comfort. My mother is dead. My father beats me.

A heavy hand grabs my shoulder, sending a jolt of fear through my body. Suddenly, my heart pounds in my head. There is ringing. I can feel the years of pain inflicted by this very hand, and instinctively, my body goes rigid.

My father's cold, threatening breath itches my ear.

"**Do not disappoint me,"** he grumbles in a low voice. He gives my shoulder a final, painful squeeze before letting go. I tremble, waiting for him to walk past. I can still feel the ghost of his fingers lingering on my shoulder and I wipe my sweaty palms on my pants. There is no way I could stay with him. Remaining in Abnegation is not an option.

Besides me, Beatrice Prior is the only person who has a face of uncertainty of all the Abnegation teenagers. As her mother pulls her in for a hug, Beatrice stares absently at the ceiling, frown wrinkles creasing on her forehead. She looks uncomfortable. She looks like she will not be joining her family after all of this, and it gives me courage.

"**Welcome, welcome!"** my father smiles as everyone settles in their seat. Immediately I tune him out. His voice fades and all I can see is his mouth moving, his austere eyes looking over the room. I refuse to believe I share his eyes, his arrogance. I will never be him.

I hear gasps and outcries. Suddenly, I am watching Caleb, Beatrice's brother, join the cluster of Erudite. The Abnegation, normally so quiet, speak to each other in tense whispers and cast glares towards the smug Erudite. I know what they are thinking—the Erudite are our sworn enemy. And for a moment, I wonder if Beatrice will join them too.

My eyes cling to her as she emerges from her spot, her small back expanding with one step and contracting with another. Then after taking the knife from Marcus, Beatrice approaches the bowls with her arm out. It quivers between the stones of Abnegation and the flames of Dauntless.

Dead silence envelopes the room as she draws a line of blood from her wrist, everyone watching to see where the blood will fall. The blood drips to the floor between the two bowls, and a gasp slips from her mouth.

Then I hear it—the sound of blood sizzling. She chose Dauntless.

There are more outcries. So much, Marcus shouts, **"Quiet down!" **I cringe slightly when he raises his voice. That makes two people from Abnegation transfers.

The room is constantly moving, someone stepping out of line, a twitch of the blade, a new choice, a new life. When it becomes my turn, a shudder propels me forward.

It isn't customary, but I glance over my shoulder and look over at the group of Abnegation I will be leaving behind. They have kind faces, and I remember watching them from a window as they work hours for the benefit of the factionless, packaging food or sewing clothes. For a moment, I believe I could stay. I believe I could be happy.

Then I meet stares with Marcus and my step almost falters. Marcus' eyes are cold and brutal and I imagine returning home with him. I imagine him dragging me away and throwing me in a closet where he will whip me a hundred times over with his belt. My skin tingles. That would be my future if I choose Abnegation.

I grab the knife from him and fit my feet to where Beatrice stood. My heart races. I can't breathe. I bring the point of the knife to my palm and drag it across my skin, clinging to every ounce of pain. Every bone in my body is shouting at me to pick Abnegation. I was Abnegation-born, Abnegation-raised. I am selfless, I am selfless, I am selfless.

I thrust my arm forward, then lift my head to glare at my father.

The only sound in the room is the sound of my blood sizzling in the coals.


	2. Chapter 2

My father glares back at me with some mixture of astonishment and anger, the same way he looks the moment he is ready to hit me. I can feel my knees wobble slightly. He can't harm me. He is powerless in front of these people.

Even so, I am afraid when I hand the knife back to him. The only son of the biggest leader in our society has abandoned him. I wonder if what he feels is betrayal or if it is embarrassment. I hope it's both. He doesn't say a word, but I can see how his hand shakes as it curls around the grip of the knife, how his whole body is tense and ready to break.

There are no outcries, no gasps, no whispers from Abnegation. There is only silence, like a withheld breath. I keep my eyes on Marcus' and back away until I am far out of his reach. Then I turn around and try to ignore the scowling eyes of what used to be my faction.

In Abnegation, it's important to blend in, to become invisible. That's why I stand next to Beatrice when I join the crowd of Dauntless initiates. This way, I am not an individual speck of gray in a sea of black. I am a member of a two person team—we are our own little community. For now. She doesn't move or say anything. Her eyes are trained on the ground in front of her and she rocks on her heels, lost in thought.

When the last person makes her choice—Amity—it is time to leave. My eyes search around the room for no one in particular, but when I see my father, he is still in the same spot, staring at the knife in his hands while Abnegation members begin to surround him. Even with all the pain I have inflicted him now, it is in no way a comparison to the suffering I've had to endure under his fist.

People from behind press me forward towards the exit, but instead of taking the elevator like the rest of the factions, the Dauntless file into the stairs. Slowly, then all at once, everyone is running and jumping, throwing themselves down flights of steps. I try to stay next to Beatrice, but she is too caught up. Exhilaration floods her face and next thing I know, she is lost in the cheering group of people in front of me.

At first, I am confused. Then I realize we didn't choose Dauntless for the same reasons. I chose Dauntless to escape my father. She chose Dauntless because she belongs here.

Reaching the bottom floor doesn't take nearly as long as it does to reach the top. In moments, we are already spilling out of the building and sprawling across the streets. Something about running wild like this seems so wrong to me, yet so liberating. Thoughts about my decision begin to dissipate, and I ease into a jog alongside a group of Dauntless-born initiates. While it is easy to keep up, I am already breathless, not because I'm tired, but because I am free. I am free from my father, free from pain, free from everything.

We turn the corner, and I hear the blare of a train. The railroad expands as we run closer and closer to it.

"**Oh no. Are we supposed to hop onto that thing?"** huffs an Erudite boy as everyone lines up parallel to the tracks. He is mumbling to himself, but Beatrice answers.

"**Yes,"** she says, steadying a foot behind her. I mimic her, keeping my eyes on an opening of one of the cars. The train's blinding light grows and grows, the sound of grinding metal wheels deafening. Then I am sprinting. I am sprinting amongst other Dauntless against the roar of the wind, driving every step towards the train cars until I am close enough to fling myself into one. Then I leap and close my eyes.

When my feet hit the metal floor, searing pain shoots up my leg and I fall, unable to keep my balance. I didn't land at the right angle.

"**Hey, not bad, Stiff!"** someone exclaims. I open my eyes to an outreached hand of a Dauntless-born initiate and take it. **"My name's Uriah. Yours?"** he smiles crookedly. Next to him, a girl with a shaved head watches me with a cold, judging stare as I pat the dust from my gray clothes.

"**Tobias,"** I say quietly, peering out the opening of the car. The buildings we just left are already far away in the distance. Abnegation feels particularly far away. **"Where are we going?" **I wonder aloud. Suddenly, I feel guilty for asking, as if I'm betraying the Abnegation in me.

"**Home. You'll see," **says Uriah. He and the girl crouch down next to the wall and I do the same next to the entrance, watching the city rush past. Now, in the silence, I have time to recollect everything.

* * *

After what feels like half an hour, someone slaps the side of my head. I lift my gaze from my knees to the girl standing before me with one hand on her hip. **"Get up,"** she scowls.

"**Lynn, be nice,"** Uriah mumbles, elbowing her as he grips one of the doors. He looks at me and points towards something in the distance. **"This is our stop."**

I peer around him. There is nothing but rooftops. **"Okay," **I say standing up. **"Okay." **

That second "okay" was for reassurance, but any sort of comfort disintegrates when I look down. The train is at least seven stories high. The ground is distant enough that the people on the streets don't look like ants, but like minuscular dots. I hear my heart throbbing in my head, my chest squeezing so tight I can't breathe. I am scared of heights.

Now I see it, the rooftop we're supposed to land on. **"I…can't—"**

Lynn whips her head to glower at me. **"Can't what?"**

"**I don't think I can jump,"** I whisper. The gap between the train and the rooftops is wide enough to make me want to throw up. I stumble to the edge of the train, grasping the side. When I look down again, I imagine myself missing the ridge of the roof and plummeting like a meteor into the sidewalk.

"**Well you have to,"** she says simply. That's easy for her to say. The target rooftop is closer now. If I hesitate any longer, I will miss it.

I take a deep breathe.

She groans**, "Oh, for the love of—"** Her hand wraps around my wrist and suddenly, I feel myself yanked out of the car. For a moment, air is all I feel around me until she lets go of my arm. Then I am surging towards the surface of the roof. Frantically, I struggle to land. I am not fast enough. The balls of my feet slam into the ground and I collapse to my knees, my skin clinging to the cement as I am dragged along by the velocity. When I finally stop moving, I roll onto my back, gasping for air. I have to get _used_ to this?

I spend a few moments trying to catch my breath. Then I tilt my head forward to stare at the train, watching as initiates fly into the gravel group by group. I didn't ride with the initiate transfers. Most of them are on the ground like me, faces half-laughing hysterically, others with wide-eyes wondering what they got themselves into. I pick myself up and start shrugging off my gray vest, when I hear a taunting voice in front of me.

"**Ooh, Scandalous! A Stiff's flashing some skin!" **It's a Candor boy, and he's not pointing at me, but at Beatrice who had pulled up her sleeve to observe something on her elbow. Her cheeks flush in irritation and she lets the sleeve fall.

"**Listen up! My name is Max! I am one of the leaders of your new faction!"** shouts a dark-skinned man at the other end of the roof. **"Several stories below us is the members' entrance to our compound. If you can't muster the will to jump off, you don't belong here. Our initiates have the privilege of going first."**

The crowd in front of the initiates splits in half to let us through and I look around. Most of the initiates don't look eager to jump. All except Beatrice who stares forward with determination alight in her eyes. She walks steadily to the edge, fumbling with her shirt until it unbuttons and slides it off her body. Then she balls it up and chucks it at the Candor boy from earlier.

Then she is gone.

I don't think. I just shrug my way past the group of initiates and run to the ledge, avoiding Max's stare. When I look down, there is an enormous, bottomless hole in front of the building I'm standing on. My eyes search for Beatrice but she has already disappeared into the darkness.

If it's so easy for her, then maybe it should be for me too. Maybe she knows what I know, that this is a scare tactic, and I will arrive safely at the bottom. Even so, my stomach feels nauseous again. From a distance, this is what it means to be Dauntless–to ignore every nerve in your body screaming at you to stop and committing every action that suggests suicide. Wind whips at my shirt. I am already here. When I look over my shoulder, everyone keeps their eyes on me, waiting for the Stiff to back out. But I won't.

I look down one more time. I set my jaw and bend my knees.

Then I jump.


	3. Chapter 3

**AHHHHH THE REVIEWS ;_; thank you so much for all the reviews and follows and feedback. Now I'm kind of scared to post new chapters like "okay I got two good chapters down better not post another one or else it might be super crappy" xDD **

**especially because I write a lot differently depending on which mood I'm in, and I think this chapter might seem more lax and not as well written. Not to mention _LONGER_ *YOU'VE BEEN WARNED***

* * *

I am falling.

My whole body throbs and tenses as the wind roars all around me, grabbing at my clothes, spinning me in all directions. The surrounding buildings smear upward, or I plummet downward until I am swallowed by darkness.

Then I hit something hard. The sudden impact sends a jolt that travels from my legs to my fingertips and jars my back. I gasp and wheeze. I didn't realize I was holding my breath, and now that I've let it out, I struggle to find it again. When I put down my hands to steady myself, they wrap around what feels like rope. It's a net. There is net under me.

In the dizziness, I play back what just happened. I was on a ledge, several stories high and I jumped. I jumped off a roof, despite my fear of heights. I think I want to throw up.

There is laughter and cheering all around me. When I look up again, I see outreached hands and take the closest one to me, crawling across the net with my other hand until I feel solid ground. My eyes adjust to the darkness and see that the hand I'm holding onto belongs to a woman with three eyebrow piercings. Her eyes skirt over my clothes and she gives me a wondrous look.

"**Well, this is unexpected,"** she calls over her shoulder. **"It's another Stiff."**

"**What?"** someone demands. **"I don't believe you."**

The woman laughs, turning back to me. She takes my hand and shakes it. **"Lauren. What's your name?"**

I cringe at her touch, but eventually ease into the shaking motion. I answer, **"Tobias." **The moment it comes out of my mouth though, I immediately wish it hadn't. Here's my chance to forget my father, to forget Abnegation, and yet I chose the name my parents gave me. But now that I've said it, I can't take it back.

"**Well, Tobias,"** she grins, placing a hand on my shoulder. **"Welcome to Dauntless."**

* * *

When all the initiates stand on solid ground again, Lauren is joined by another man with long black hair and so many piercings, my body hurts a little from just looking at him. He doesn't say a word. Instead he folds his arms and stares at us with dark, brutal eyes. Together, Lauren and him lead us down a tunnel. I can feel my anxiety rising. It's dark and narrow here, like the closets at home. Or what used to be home.

Suddenly, the whole group halts, and Lauren turns around. **"This is where we divide,"** she says. **"The Dauntless-born initiates are with me. I assume **_**you**_** don't need a tour of the place." **Dauntless-born initiates chuckle a little as they break away from the group, leaving only transfers behind. There aren't any Amity here. The transfers are mostly comprised of Erudite and Candor with the exception of Beatrice and me, who are the only Abnegation. I don't know where she is right now. She's so short she could be behind any of these people.

The man omitting a dark aura turns to us, raising his pierced eyebrows. **"I am one your faction leaders, and will be your instructor for the next few weeks." **His voice is rough and almost inherently chastising. His chin lifts easily, suggesting undeniable pride, but arrogance might be a better word. **"My name is Eric. Questions?"**

The initiates are quiet, probably because they're scared. Triumphantly, Eric smiles to himself. He is proud of terrifying people into silence. I can already feel the hatred rising in my chest towards him, more than I can understand.

"**No? Then let's begin."**

He leads us into an enormous cavern where nothing but Dauntless chaos seems to exist. It echoes with the laughter and screams of the crowds of people inside. **"This is the Pit. Nothing exciting, as you can see."**

Then he swerves us to the right towards a cliff edge that extend from one entrance of the pit to the other. It is guarded by a metal railing, but my gut tells me that's not enough. The closer we are to it, the more apparent the roar of rushing water becomes. Eric shouts over the noise, **"This is my favorite part of the Dauntless Compound. This...is the chasm." **The group of initiates spread out along the railing to look down. Some wear awed expressions, but most look terrified. Several stories below us is a fast-moving river. Its water is violent, and it strikes the walls that enclose it with such force, the spray of water reaches the cliff's edge. **"Try not to get yourself killed here. It's very possible,"** Eric smiles. The curl in his lips are cruel as if they were carved in by a knife.

"**What do you mean 'it's very possible?'"** an Erudite boy frowns.

Eric is eager to respond. "**I **_**mean**_** aside from accidents,"** he double-quotes 'accident' with his fingers. **"This place is where we send people as punishment for most things."**

He says it like death is commonplace here. That's probably not far from the truth. I look around, realizing that most of the Dauntless appear to be thirty-years-old or younger. Where are all the old people?

Eric interrupts my thoughts. "**Anyways, it's dinner time."** He gestures at us to follow him and leads us into a gaping hole in the wall. On the other side, there are cafeteria tables. The Dauntless already there watch us for a brief moment as we enter before they start stamping their feet and cheering. Everyone is unreasonably excited here. It's different from Abnegation, where everyone is huddled and silent.

I start walking towards the first empty table I can see. That is, until someone shoves me from behind. I regain my balance quickly and whip my head at the cause. The same Candor boy from earlier walks past, followed by another Candor girl and boy. He casts a smirk over his shoulder and I glare back. Apparently, it will take more than joining Dauntless to wear down the "stiff" title.

A hand presses against my shoulder and I spin around**. **

**"Hey, don't pay attention to Peter and his dumbo gang," **says a dark-skinned Candor girl. She wears an easy smile with hair carefully styled. My eyes drift from her to Beatrice who stands next to her, watching me with her usual reserved look**. "I'm Christina."**

"**Tobias,"** I answer without taking my eyes off Beatrice. Her eyes are a muddled blue. Her eyebrows furrow at me, and I realize I've been staring at her for too long, so I look away. Christina frowns at both us. **"You two know each other?"**

"**Not really,"** Beatrice shrugs. Christina shrugs too, and we settle down at some empty seats. She's right though. I've never talked to her. Marcus never let me go to Abnegation parties or events because he couldn't risk people seeing his son bruised up from a beating the night before. I shake my head again. I need to forget Marcus. He's nothing to me now.

I sit across from Beatrice and Christina and stare at the platter between us. It's covered in peculiar looking sandwiches which has some sort of circle of meat wedged between two slices of bread. Beatrice appears just as confused as I am.

"**What?"** asks Christina, looking at both of us. **"Don't tell me you guys aren't starving."**

"**What are these?" **

Christina stares incredulously at her. **"Tris, you've never had a hamburger?" **

I am confused for a moment. "**Tris,"** I repeat, suddenly realizing it's short for Beatrice. Tris looks up at me and I wave her off.**  
**

She turns back to Christina, raising her eyebrows. "**Extravagance is considered self-indulgent."** Shaking her head, Christina gapes at me and I simply nod to confirm.

"**No wonder why you guys left."**

Tris rolls her eyes and I find myself almost smiling. Almost.

It's strange having Tris here. As if it would feel more normal to be going through initiation as the only Abnegation transfer. I'm not sure if I regret my decision to transfer in the first place, but I feel like I should be punished for it. For being selfish. Having Tris here as another Abnegation transfer alleviates that guilt a little.

Suddenly, a hush comes over the room and I feel a horrible, terrible chill behind me. I turn around, only to meet stares with Eric. My spine locks into place and I sit up straighter. I don't want him to think I'm scared of him. I will not allow him that sense of accomplishment. He has his arms folded as usual, his dark eyes examining us. **"So what are your names?"** he asks simply. Every movement of his body reveals another piercing. He's like a Christmas tree; if I shook him, all the ornaments on his body would jiggle and glitter.

Christina is first to speak. **"I'm Christina. This is Tris and Tobias." **

"**You like to be friends with stiffs,"** Eric observes in an easy voice. I should be used to this, but I can feel the heat rising in my cheeks. **"An unusual group."**

"**Yeah, well," **I say, shrugging.** "We're not so intimidating. We don't have 200 piercings."**

Everyone is silent for a moment, and Eric scowls at me. That was more than un-Abnegation of me. That was flat out Dauntless sass. I feel like I can even make out my father's eyes on his face, and it gives me half-fear and half-pleasure to see Eric bothered by my statement. In fact, everything Eric is reminds me of my father**—**the arrogance, the sadism, the austerity, the tyranny. Everything.

I wait for the tension between us to break, but instead of hitting me like Marcus would, Eric simply turns around and says over his shoulder, **"You're in Dauntless now, stiff. Get used to it."**

It is decided.

I hate him.

* * *

After dinner, Eric leads us around the compound until we're in front of a wooden door. It must be ancient. Wood isn't used for buildings anymore**—**only glass and stone.

** "Before you're sent to your room where you will be staying throughout your initiation experience, we have some expectations. Break these, and your initiation process will be discontinued." **His eyes are cold, yet at the same time amused. Everyone waits for him to explain like stone-cold statues, as if becoming factionless is more realistic now than it was at the Choosing Ceremony. And now that we've seen the lifestyle of Dauntless, death seems to be a more realistic route too. **"First, you have to be at the training room at eight. No later. Training extends to six. After that, you'll be able to do whatever your little minds fancy. Second, you are not allowed to leave this compound unless accompanied by a Dauntless member. That's it."**

Those are only two rules. Two things out of the hundreds of things you could do here. That amount of freedom is deafening.

**"Also, in the first stage of initiation, we keep transfers and Dauntless-born initiates separate, but that doesn't mean you are evaluated separately. At the end of initiation, your rankings will be determined in comparison with the Dauntless-born initiates. And they are better than you are already. So I expect-"**

**"_Rankings_?" **squeaks an Erudite girl.** "Why are we ranked?"**

Eric smiles cruelly, the most wickedly he has all day. That can't be good.** "The top ten initiates are the only ones who will become members. The rest of you will be cut off and left to live factionless."**

As that sinks in, silence overcomes everyone. I'm not all that worried, although it was unexpected. With my size and strength, I should make it out alright. But Tris is small. Needless to say, she will have difficulty, but even then, with all that has happened today, she has been more courageous than most of the people here. Looking at her now, she isn't softened by this news. Instead, she seems to harden.

I shake my head again. My mind may be off Marcus, but now it's clinging to Tris. It doesn't make sense.

When we are let into the room, everyone is quick to claim a bed, and eventually the only bed available is the one between Tris and Peter. I've never slept in the same room with a girl, so this feels strange, but I assume the Dauntless don't care about these things. They are only concerned with the present here, and future consequences mean close to nothing. It makes sense.

After several hours in darkness, I think I am the last to fall asleep.

* * *

******Let me know if this story is too slow-paced for you guys! I'm basically just condensing each chapter of the book right now, but I know y'all want to see some tris-four action and yuh huh. R&R!**


	4. Chapter 4

A scream rises in my throat, but it won't come out. No one will come. No one ever does. I grit my teeth, my eyes following the shape of the belt as it strikes my bare skin. Darkness is all around me, but the shadow of my father is darker.

He growls, **"Get on your stomach."** The throbbing sensation is so agonizing, his voice doesn't register and I spend the next moment coughing. It feels like my body is ripping to shreds. My hands search for something to clasp onto, anything to protect myself with, but it finds nothing.

Suddenly, his foot stabs into my ribs and I groan, collapsing onto the floor again. "**GET ON YOUR STOMACH,"** he barks, and that's what I do.

All at once, everything is silent except for my wheezing. The silence makes me think of my mom, how she left me here alone with _him_ and went somewhere where I could never follow. In this moment, I wish I could have followed her; I wish for anything to be dead like her.

I feel Marcus' eyes on me, watching for any sign of resistance, for any reason to kick me again. I am dead still. He takes one step closer to me, his voice terrifyingly quiet. **"This is for your own good," **he grumbles. Those words make my throat thicken like heavy wax. How many times have I heard that?

I try to fight off tears. All the muscles in my body tighten at the sound of leather slicing the air. It is too much to contain, too much pain to hold in. I begin to scream.

Then my eyelids fly open to a new darkness.

I feel a bed under me. My heart pounds hard in my head. Beads of sweat slide down my cheek. My chest feels thick and lethargic like mud.

I am slow to process that I am in the Dauntless Compound. The areas on my skin where Marcus whipped me still tingle, but it doesn't hurt anymore. Slowly, I fix my eyes on the ceiling, listening to the sleeping breaths of nine other initiates. It was just another nightmare.

I don't know why I ever thought I could forget Marcus. My fingers slowly brush across the scar on my chin, and I remember the night when he struck me so hard I had to get stitches. How could I ever forget Marcus? Leaving Abnegation is not enough; the scars I got from him are still heavily implanted in my brain. Even when I've escaped him, he is still here haunting me.

All of a sudden, a hand touches my shoulder and I seize it without thinking. It jerks back. When I look to my left, I am met by Tris' stunned gaze. Her eyes gleam a little in the shadows despite there being no light.

At first, I'm not really sure what to say.** "You're still awake?"** Is all I can muster. My voice is unexpectedly low and rough like sandpaper.

She nods, and I remember that I'm still clasping onto her wrist. I let go of her and she draws back her arm until it is hidden under her blanket.

"**Sorry."**

She shakes her head, and I notice her gray clothes peeking out from under the sheets. She didn't change into Dauntless clothing like everyone else. **"You were shaking. I wasn't sure if you were asleep or not," **she mumbles, directing her eyes at the floor.

"**I was."**

"**Okay."** She rolls onto her back indifferently and closes her eyes.

No. No. Don't leave me alone. **"Tris?"**

"**What?"**

I want to tell her everything. That I'm scared and that I don't want to be alone. If I'm alone, I'll start to miss my mom again or my dad will find me and beat me. I want to tell her the horrible irony of joining Dauntless—the brave—in order to run away from my fears. I don't want her pity. I just need someone to dump these thoughts onto.

But we're in Dauntless now, which means I have to deal with my fears on my own. That's the reality I have to accept—there is no turning back. I feel my spine locking into place, my voice suddenly growing cold. **"Nevermind." **

She doesn't answer.

Once my heart beat calms down, I close my eyes, expecting to see Marcus' face again. Instead, I only see darkness.

* * *

**sorry for the short chapter! I return to the plot in the next chapter. :) R&R!**


End file.
